The voice in your head

Comment by stormblade260 on Reddit

In my opinion, if you look at the phrasing of the statement, “guys get her flowers, girls give him head” you see that the issue at hand is that we as a society continue to treat sex as a resource. The western sexual system makes physical sexual pleasure out to be a commodity to be traded and haggled for, and like all economic systems this requires supply and demand. This system teaches that women are something to be desired (supply) and that men are the ones to desire (demand). The problem is that sex is obviously more than just an exchange of goods and because of this you can see the issues it creates in our society for men and women.
Men are taught that they have to earn women. They have to go out and perform some grand feat or buy lavish gifts to earn that which they are supposed desire most, sex. Women are taught that they are something to be desired, their body the prize to be won, that their sexuality is a resource.
Economics teaches us that the more plentiful a resource is then the less value it has. Women are taught to not desire sex because if they did it would make sex from men more valuable and the sex woman offer less valuable. This is why “slut-shaming” is even a thing. A women who is seen to freely “give” sex is devaluing the resource as a whole. Why would men give up resources for a commodity that is being offered for free by someone else? Would you still pay for milk if there was a cow in the center of town that just anyone could use? The other providers of the market band together to smear the image of this woman to one, make her feel bad for devaluing the resource and thus herself, and two, make the woman less valuable and thus less desirable in the eyes of men. Women can give sexual pleasure as making something up because it is essentially her giving what she has been taught the most valuable thing in the world to a man. A man must offer up resources in some other way (buying flowers) because his offering of sexual pleasure is not nearly seen as valuable because women aren’t supposed to want it.
I maintain many of society’s sexual issues are a direct result of this system. Because women are taught their bodies are the most valuable thing about them they base their self worth on the amount and quality of men who desire them. Men are taught that they have to earn women with the resources they have to offer be it social status, wealth, etc. Back in the real world the facts of human sexuality reveal the issues with this socially created system. Women want sex, plain and simple. The Kinsey institute has show in numerous studies that women clearly have sexual desires, a direct violation of the sexual resource system. For men the system drives into them that they should always want sex but deep down most men don’t consider themselves worthy of the price required. Guys are also are filled with insecurities and few can ever live up to the powerful image that they believe is required of them to “earn” women.
I say this is why most courting of youth happens in places of inebriation (clubs, parties, etc.). The illusion of societal freedom that inebriation allows lets men and woman get what they want (sex) in an environment that is “emotionally safe”. Being drunk offers men the “courage” that they are worth enough to earn women and can go out and let their desire be known. It allows women who want sex the excuse that the reason they gave up that which makes them most valuable was due to the freedom of alcohol.
Until society accepts sex for what it is socially, an emotional and physical performance between two people fulfilling mutual desires, then we will continue to see such societal issues as poor self-esteem, body image issues, the objectification of women, “rape culture”, etc.
TL;DR The statement “guys get her flowers, girls give him head” is a direct result of a society that treats sex as a resource rather than a performance.
Edit: removing of redundancies, clarified my ending statement as a social definition of sex as /u/warpus did point out sex is a resource when referring to evolution
Obligatory “WTF Double Gold?!!?” Edit: Firstly, thank you all for the discussion this has created both here and /r/best of. Secondly, I’d like to clarify a few things. The system I describe above sounds so close to biology for some of you because IT IS what happens in nature. Sex is a resource, and for any species the greatest resource because it allows the species to pass along its genes. That being said, what I should have clarified is that while I understand and agree this is how sex should be seen biologically, treating it this way socially in today’s age is why I believe we have some of the issues we do.
When it comes to my argument about “slut-shaming” I was trying to explain why such an act could be explained in this system. I too agree that religious and cultural influences have a big deal to perpetuate the societal ideal of sex I describe, but they did not create this system. The system was already in place before religion or government and their influence continued to perpetuate this view, and not always for the wrong reasons. I am merely stating that to continue to socially treat sex as a purely reproductive matter we will continue to see the social system above. We as humans have sex for pleasure and with modern developments in birthing and birth control, sex, in my opinion, means more that it does to a dog or an ant or a narwhal….maybe not a dolphin…I believe, that SOCIALLY, we need to start looking at sex as more than just an exchange of resources, it should be ” a performance between individuals fulfilling mutual desires”.

First ever penumbral lunar eclipse as seen from the moon.

First ever penumbral lunar eclipse as seen from the moon.

shamelesslyunladylike:

korrathefirebender:

thegrumpiesttortoise:

WOMEN: don’t be successful - you might hurt a man’s feelings. #sexism #wtf #heteronormativetoo #whataloadofbollocks

After reading this, this is all I am going to try to do. To succeed.
And they say male privilege doesn’t exist? How about instead of telling women to stop trying to be successful and you know achieve their dreams (GOD FORBID WOMEN TRY TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS) how about teaching men and boys that women are human beings and they should stop throwing a tantrum about women succeeding.
The kind of man who will be intimidated by my success is exactly the kind of man I don’t want.

Men are such fragile little things, the slightest breeze hurts their fee-fees.

I feel sorry for people (women AND men) who feel the need to improve their self-esteem by posting highly-offensive sexist posts.
Fighting for gender equality is a noble goal.  But using sexist comments is both hypocritical and counter-productive.  
If you truly believe that your gender makes you a better person, you need to do some serious self reflection.  It’s likely you are not a very good person.  

shamelesslyunladylike:

korrathefirebender:

thegrumpiesttortoise:

WOMEN: don’t be successful - you might hurt a man’s feelings. #sexism #wtf #heteronormativetoo #whataloadofbollocks

After reading this, this is all I am going to try to do. To succeed.

And they say male privilege doesn’t exist? How about instead of telling women to stop trying to be successful and you know achieve their dreams (GOD FORBID WOMEN TRY TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS) how about teaching men and boys that women are human beings and they should stop throwing a tantrum about women succeeding.

The kind of man who will be intimidated by my success is exactly the kind of man I don’t want.

Men are such fragile little things, the slightest breeze hurts their fee-fees.

I feel sorry for people (women AND men) who feel the need to improve their self-esteem by posting highly-offensive sexist posts.

Fighting for gender equality is a noble goal.  But using sexist comments is both hypocritical and counter-productive.  

If you truly believe that your gender makes you a better person, you need to do some serious self reflection.  It’s likely you are not a very good person.  

(via mageg)

Trees

Today I learned that trees evolved twice in Earth’s history. Angiosperms (flowering trees) and Gymnosperms (conifers) evolved in parallel, independent of each other.

It’s therefore highly likely that trees just like ours are common on other habitable worlds.

Think about that the next time your walking through the woods.